Dr GACHET'S BLUE EYES*: A NON-POEM FOR SHARON
[c. 4am, Ward 73, Auckland Hospital, Tuesday 30th October 2012]
Sharon
I have things to say to you
things that need said
but I have come to distrust words
especially words masquerading in the self-proclaiming cleverness of crafty love poems
full of grand promises and magic visions of forever loving lives.
Paying verbal public tributes to departing colleagues
staff at celebratory functions
brides and bridesmaids
the dear departed of family or friends
these are things I have been reluctant to do
fearful that life and lives be trivialised
by the artifice of grandIiose expressions and oratorical gymnastics.
Life is hard for us now
behind our brave faces for public consumption
we cry together
and we cry apart
and only our love sustains us
love that doesn't need poems
nice to cherish as they may be
but is woven into the fabric of our daily lives.
I see your love in your Dr Gachet eyes
as they swing between pain and laughter
in your creation and care of our new home
in meatloaves, fruitcakes and Sunday morning pancakes
I see it in your tears of frustration and exhaustion
in the selfless caring
and I feel it in touching hands, stroking fingers and hugs of compassion and comfort.
I offer you my non-poem in love and gratitude.
* Dr Paul Gachet took care of Van Gogh during the final months of Van Gogh's life. Van Gogh wrote of his depiction of Dr Gachet as 'sad but gentle, yet clear and intelligent.' Critics have highlighted 'the tired, pale features and transparent blue eyes that reflect the compassion and melancholy of the man.' We saw Dr Gachet in the Musee d'Orsay.
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